“Better is open rebuke Than love that is concealed.” — Proverbs 27:5 NASB
Some might call it constructive criticism, and it should be delivered as such, but sometimes, even constructive criticism can hurt. People point things out that we don’t see as a problem.
I’ve had family members and church members talk to me about things I didn’t see as a problem. I didn’t always listen right away. Sometimes, my first reaction was one of anger and frustration. “I know what I’m doing! Leave me alone!” Now, I will admit, in these areas, the more I studied and grew in my walk with Christ, I came to realize that these people were right and I was wrong. I got a glimpse of where I was going and who I was becoming before I got there. God was gracious and opened my eyes before I ruined myself. It wasn’t easy and it took a while to completely leave all that behind, but it was worth it.
Let me put their love for me in an illustration we’ll all understand.
There is a young family in my church who has a toddler. I won’t tell you their names, but Son was enjoying the attention of myself and some others when Dad noticed a black dot under the blond hair of the 1 year old Son. Looking closer, Dad realized the black dot was a tick on Son’s scalp. Without hesitation, Dad gently yet firmly gripped Son’s head and worked for a minute or two to get the tick off of Son’s head.
Now Son didn’t enjoy at all what his father was doing. Son didn’t even realize there was a tick on his head. He didn’t know how dangerous that tick was to his life and livelihood, but Dad knew. The more and harder Dad worked to remove that tick, the more Son cried and tried to squirm and get away. Dad’s grip on his head wasn’t comfortable at all, but the tick came off after a minute and Dad drowned it in the sink drain, so it would never bother and harm his son again. Dad did what was right for his son, even to the point of ignoring his son’s cries that essentially said. “Stop! Leave me alone! Your grip hurts.” Dad knew that the tick would hurt his son far more than his firm grip.
Now, what if Dad chose not to ignore his son’s cries and tried to reason with Son? Son would’ve still argued, if he could talk. “It’s still going to hurt. I’m not going to enjoy it, so don’t bother me. Just wait and maybe the tick will fall off on its own.” If you know anything about ticks, you know that’s not going to happen.
Or what if Dad just kept his mouth shut, kept his hands to himself, and didn’t do anything to bother his son? Friend and I, who were right there with them, would’ve seriously wondered if Dad really loved his Son. We’d have called him stupid or an idiot and we’d probably have made Son uncomfortable for a while to get that tick off. Friend is a dad as well so Friend already knows the kind of love a dad should have for his son. I’m not a dad yet, but I have a dad who’s still active and loving towards me, so I know how the son feels towards his dad.
When you look at a friend, a brother or sister in Christ, and you notice something going on that’s one day going to ruin them, do you speak up, or do you just keep it quiet? “Well, I don’t want to bother them. I’ll just pray for them.” God can certainly work thru prayer, but you could also be the answer to someone’s prayer. Even if they ignore you and your constructive criticism, you still did the right thing.
Later down Proverbs 27, we see a verse I like to go back to on occasion.
‘Iron sharpens iron, So one man sharpens another.” — Proverbs 27:17 NASB
Are you sharpening your fellow Christians? Are you pointing out areas of their lives that go against scriptural principles? Or do you keep quiet, and let them live in their sin? And when they come to you, how do you react and respond? Do you get angry at them for speaking up? Or do you recognize their open love for you?
0 Comments